Ninja attempts to rob Minnesota grocery store (and fails...)

A sword-wielding man in full Ninja garb attempted to rob Lunds grocery store in Richfield, Minnesota.

Apparently, after being denied by the cashier who thought it was a joke and told him he "couldn't open the drawer in the middle of a sale", the Ninja swore in frustration and stealthily disappeared into the night.

Full "Ninja Robber" story

Google ranks 3rd, behind Alta Vista and MSN.

According to the Google Search Engine, Google is only the third most relevant search engine, at least according to the results for the keyword phrase "Search Engine". Both Alta Vista and MSN currently outrank Google for the term.

I discovered this when out of boredom this evening, I decided to search google for "search engine" to see who ranked after them. I was quite suprised to find them sitting in the number 2 position. "But I thought you said they were number 3?" They are now, but just 3 hours ago they were sitting at number 2. (see screenshot below)

My first thoughts were "Is google's algorithm really such a mystery that even their own developers aren't in the loop?" Naaahhhh.. couldn't be. Upon further review I found what is likely the reason for Alta Vista ranking is that they have a lot more inbound links with the anchor text of "Search Engine". In fact, both Alta Vista and Dogpile rank higher than Google for inbound links with the Anchor Text for the keyword. (I found this information by searching Google with: allinanchor: Search Engine)

Okay, so that explained a big part of how Alta Vista could outrank Google for the term, anchor text plays a big part in Search Engine Optimization.

But then when I did a search just a few hours later for a couple more screenshots, there was MSN in the second spot. Haven't quite figured that one out yet, as they are behind Google for inbound links for the term in the fourth spot, though as they often are, they are ahead of Google in their their traffic ranking at #2 (according to alexa.com), which, depending on who you talk to may or may not affect things.

I think this says something interesting about the Google algorithm. On one hand, it shows that Google obviously isn't "cheating" to get the number 1 spot, or else they'd have it. On the other, it shows they are not finding the pages ALL of the time that they consider to be most relevant for keywords. I say that because I'm pretty sure Google considers themselves the most relevant.

Anyway, I can't figure out how to end this blog, so here is a rabbit with a pancake on his head.

Trojan targets World of Warcraft gamers

So honestly, who else saw this headline and thought "Well that seems like a gigantic miscalculation on the part of the marketing team at Trojan". I mean, it's no secret that the target market for condoms is NOT the MMORPG circuit.

Well, apparently they were talking about a Trojan Horse Virus, which makes a whole lot more sense.

Security watchers have discovered a Trojan that's designed to steal user names and passwords from World of Warcraft players.

Wowcraft, which also attempts to disable security software packages on compromised PCs, has been planted on maliciously constructed websites. Unprotected Windows users visiting these sites can get infected through malicious browser pop-ups. The malware also spreads through infectious email attachments or as files downloaded from P2P networks.

Virtual gold and other booty obtained via compromised accounts can be converted to cash, as Tom's Hardware reports, but it's unclear if this is the motive of the attack.

Wowcraft is the latest in a series of Trojans targeting the World of Warcraft community, some of which also attempt (example here) to steal the identities of layers of other online games. ®

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/08/wowcraft/

So let me get this all straight. World of Warcraft players who engage in unprotected gaming, can end up with a virus that steals their virtual booty.

Now that's rough, because, let's face it, "virtual booty" is about the only booty that many World of Warcraft players ever get.

You know, after giving this more thought, Trojan really SHOULD target World of Warcraft gamers, it really is a vastly untapped market, and they really could use the help!

Naked man tasered by Police at Demo Derby

What kind of world are we living in, where a man can't run naked at a Demolition Derby without fear of being shot with a taser by the fuzz?

Well, Streaker's beware; recently in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, that is exactly what happened.

Fun turned to stunned just after sundown Sunday when a streaker was "tasered" by cops at the 2005 Demolition Derby.

About 3,400 on-lookers – including families and children – got more than the usual clouds of rodeo dirt and souped-up hot rods ramming into one another when, moments before the winner-takes-all round, a naked man leapt from the stands holding a red fire extinguisher and raced around the rodeo pit, eluding police while attempting to spray fans in the grandstand.

Spectators cheered the nudist as two Jackson Hole police and a sheriff’s deputy gave hot pursuit on foot. They finally took the man down when the deputy fired a taser dart into the streaker’s right shoulder blade.

The tasering provoked catcalls and boos as the nudist quivered and shook before falling and writhing facedown in the dirt for several seconds. As the arresting peace officers lifted and cuffed the naked man’s hands behind his back, urine trickled down the streaker’s front.

This prompted many in the stands to shout the strongest insults at police.

Upon recovering, the exhibitionist acknowledged the crowd with a half-dazed nod before shaking his curly hair defiantly while being escorted off in the buff.


Not to be upstaged by the bare truth below, the derby announcer peered out the sky booth, smiled into his mike, and quipped, "Must be a chilly evening."

Now THAT is the kind of demolition derby event people really want to see! Naked guy running across the field gets taken down by the cops and electrocuted, then pisses himself in front of thousands!

An informal poll of eyewitness reactions following the incident found near unanimous disapproval at the tactics of law enforcement responding to the scene, from shock and dismay to genuine outrage.

At a party immediately following the derby, an outraged Kevin McBride asked, "How many Jackson Hole cops does it take to catch a naked man in a rodeo arena? I was furious, because it wasn’t that big a deal. Did they have to taser him in front of 5,000 people and kids?"

People AND kids too?? Last I checked kids are simply younger people. And somehow the fact that a man was running across the field naked in front of those same kids is not a big deal. It's when the naked man is electrocuted and pees on himself ... well, on second thought, I suppose that does bring it to the next level.

The best quotes of all come from the next and final exerpt of the story:

Her friend Kelly Egan told the Planet, "I think for someone who was in no position to use any kind of aggression, it was inappropriate to use a weapon that has in the recent past been lethal. I was overwhelmed by the level of stupidity!"

Egan’s husband, Bruce, 52, a retired economist, said, "If you have kids why bring them to a demo-demolish? Pig-wrestling maybe, but demo derby never."

Egan continued, "Tasing the streaker was bullshit. Who is the guy hurting? In years past, everyone cheered the streaker. This year, they taser a guy. What happened? Young kids will do what they want to do. They don’t have much money, so their 15 minutes of fame is to streak. I’ve seen streakers in my day. I’ve been to Yankee Stadium and World Cup soccer matches, but this is the first streaker I’ve ever seen tasered ... it was police brutality and excessive force."

At a post-derby house party featuring loud music and flowing kegs that attracted the attention of police cruisers, Leah Smith shook her head wistfully while reflecting on what she had saw, "He was a true American. Tasering him was pretty lame. The streaker was the essence of the derby."

Her male companion sipped his beer and nodded in full agreement.

So, what have we learned kids(and people too!)?

1. Demolition Derby's are not for kids, but Pig Wrestling ... That's a different story!

2. It's basic economic's (Bruce should know, he is a retired economist), broke kids should streak at Demo Derbies in order to get their 15 minutes. After all, doesn't everyone want to be famous for peeing themselves in front of everyone at the Demo Derby?

3. What make's a "True American"? Why running accross a dirt field naked right before a bunch of rickety old cars prepare to smash into eachother. Also, tasering "True American's" is "Pretty Lame"

And most importanty:
4. Don't mess with the Jackson Hole PD, those boy's will F* you up!!

Full story availble at:
http://www.planetjh.com/brady/brady_2005_08_01_streaker.html

Can't make it into work today, I was car jacked!!!

Winner of the best excuse not to go to work award for 2006, goes to a young woman in Ashland, Oregon. Apparently she'd been running out of excuses, and so she called in and told her boss she'd been Car Jacked. Hey, sounds reasonable to me. Only problem was she made it up. Oops!

Ashland car-jacking fabricated
By Robert Plain
Ashland Daily Tidings
A car jacking in Ashland turned out to be "an extremely bad lie" on the part of Jessica Hutson, who reported the crime, Ashland police said.

"The car jacking did not happen," Deputy Chief Rich Walsh said.

Hutson told her boss and Ashland Police that on Aug. 8 at 5 p.m. a man "walked in front of her car, came to the driver's side door, pulled out a gun and told her to get out of the car," police said at the time.

But it turns out she made up the crime as an excuse to get out of going to work that day, according to police.

"It was an extremely bad lie and a poor choice on her part so we cited and released her," Walsh said. She was charged with filing a false report, a class C misdemeanor.

Hutson first reported the car jacking to her boss, not expecting her employer to report the incident to the police.

"Basically she was running out of excuses to not show up for work," said Walsh. "There was some suspicion [by her employer] that this may not be true."

The next day Hutson, a 20-year-old Southern Oregon University student, left her job at the Wet Seal in the Rogue Valley Mall.

Police suspected something was amiss with the report from the first day.

"We actually saw a lot of holes in her story from the beginning," Wash said. "About an hour after it occurred we started to put the pieces together. It didn't make a lot of sense."

Walsh said Detectives Bon Stewart and Randy Snow "did an outstanding job" uncovering Hutson's lie.

Surveillance tapes from the Albertson's parking lot proved to be Hutson's undoing. By reviewing the tapes, the detectives learned the woman's car was not parked where she said it was. The tape also showed her acting "calmly" after the crime.

"She wasn't agitated, she wasn't excited," Walsh said, noting that her purse wasn't stolen either.

The car was found, locked and parked legally, only a few blocks away.

"If it was a real car jacking, why would a criminal bother to lock the car," Walsh said. "You would think a car jacker would head towards the highway to get out of Dodge — or Ashland in this case."

Police were trying to contact Hutson to question her when she filed a harassment complaint against one of the officers on Thursday.

"She was trying to get the investigators off her back," Walsh said. "A good offense is sometimes a good defense."

But not this time. When Stewart interviewed Hutson for her harassment change, she confessed. "She made the story up," Wash said.

http://www.dailytidings.com/2006/0825/stories/0825_carjack.php

Hmm... Now if you ask me, wouldn't you think it would be a great idea to just fess up once you get a phone call from the cops asking about the story? Honestly, a simple "listen, I just really didn't want to go to work today, I didn't think this thing through, and I really didn't think my boss was going to call the police about this... "

I certainly suppose you could give her credit on the follow through! She definitely rode that lie to the bitter end!

Blindness cured by M.A.S.H., a sneeze, and God..

Apparently, M.A.S.H, combined with a sneeze, has amazing healing powers! That is the only conclusion I can come to after reading this article out of Jasper, Alabama.

Was blind but now I see

LONA WILLIAMS
The Daily Mountain Eagle
Published August 15, 2006 1:19 PM CDT

Ruth Hubbert Lane, 72, wants to make it clear, first thing, that she feels that God has given her back her eye-sight after she was blind for a year.
First, let me say that God has done this for me. He may have worked through the medicine or it might have happened anyway. But I am totally thanking God that I am able to see my family and to do the things that I have not been able to do, Lane said.
The miracle occurred last Tuesday at about 4:30 a.m. Lane had gotten up and moved from the bed to a chair, using her walker. She had clicked on the television and heard the music of a M.A.S.H rerun. She sneezed, blew her nose, wiped her eyes and looked up to find that she could see the images of the M.A.S.H. characters on the screen. She began to scream and thank God. She called her daughter and woke her up to tell her the news...

The full story is available here:
http://www.mountaineagle.com/NF/omf/eagle/lifestyle_story.html?[rkey=0101918+[cr=gdn

So, she gives all of the credit to God, but I personally say if you weigh the evidence, a fair ammount of credit should go to the Sneeze, and to the 4077th!

Hawkeye, and God, certainly do work in mysterious ways... :)

Oh, Nevada Appeal, how I love thee..

For the inaugural post on Wiggity Wack News, it is only fitting I start with my absolute favorite source for news, the Nevada Appeal. This newspaper consistantly provides the most amazing, wackiest news available. To this day, I can't decide if it is because the reporters at the newspaper are just wack, or if it is due to the inherant wacky nature of the Northern Nevada region. Probably a little of both.

Anywho, without further delay, I present:

The inaugural post of Wiggity Wack News!!!! WOOT! woot! WOOT!

It's time to turn to America's favorite and most informative newspaper, The Nevada Appeal!

First on the roster:

Kids like Rocks!
LOVELOCK, Pershing County - On a hill above the Coeur Rochester open pit, a group of teachers are picking up rocks to bring back to their classrooms. Perhaps these pieces of quartz and rhyolite will lead students to a greater understanding of their geologic environment, or even lucrative careers in mining.Or maybe the rocks will just become projectiles."Kids like rocks," says Kim Kuntz, a kindergarten teacher at Silver Springs Elementary. She believes that educating teachers about geology will open doors for children to learn about a subject that they are already interested in.
http://www.nevadaappeal.com/article/20060817/NEWS/108170088

So, wait a minute? The rocks may become projectiles?? We're talking Kindergarten students. I'm just picturing a room full of kindergarteners throwing rocks at eachother.. That is so freaking sweet!!
Haha... "Kids like Rocks". Basically my favorite quote from the story..

Next up is a tidbit from the Carson City Government.. Always an enlightening bunch...

Carson City supervisors decide against rules limiting public comment:
City supervisors opted Thursday not to adopt rules of conduct for people speaking at their meetings.Exchanges between city officials and two Reno-based activists occasionally became heated over the proposal that would have allowed the mayor or whoever conducts supervisors' meetings to restrict comments that are "irrelevant, repetitious, slanderous, offensive, inflammatory, redundant, irrational or amounting to personal attacks."

Ok, so they are going to restrict comments that are repetitious, slanderous, inflammatory, redundant, or amounting to personal attacks? Repetitious? Redundant? Hrm.. Does that mean that stating the rule may itself not have been allowed if the new rule had gone into effect?
...

Mayor Marv Teixeira said after the meeting that the law already allows him to keep meetings businesslike."I'm simply following (Nevada's) Open Meeting Law," Teixeira said. "I don't need a policy. I can ask them to leave."During the meeting, he said he can already handle disruptive influences."I'll take you on," Teixeira said as he pointed at one of the activists. He then turned and pointed at the other and said, "And I'll take you on."

It sure is nice that the law allows the Mayor to keep things businesslike. Now all he needs is to learn that pointing at people and telling them that he'll "Take them on" is rather unbusiness like. It could also be a bit like a personal attack... oh, and saying the exact same thing to each and every person who he disagree's with, yeah, a bit repetitious...

I now see why this new rule was not put into place. Not allowing the Mayor to speak at meetings could be a bit counterproductive...

Then again, there is also THIS guy....

Sam Dehné, a retired airline pilot who sometimes sings his comments and plays a guitar as accompaniment, jumped up from his seat at one point and said to the mayor, "you made a threat to me."

Okay, so maybe THAT guy should be censored.. Who the hell sings and plays a guitar at city meetings? Oh, yeah, I remember. The residents of Carson City, Nevada. And does anyone find it a bit concerning this guy used to be an Airline Pilot??

http://www.nevadaappeal.com/article/20060818/NEWS/108180084

Next we have a heartwrenching tale of State Legislators who don't make enough money. Basically, this exerpt sums the story up.

Nevada Legislature salary increase:
LAS VEGAS (AP) -- Senate Majority Leader Bill Raggio, R-Reno, finally decided 21 years without a pay increase was long enough. He engineered legislation that placed the doubling of state lawmakers' salaries on the November ballot.
If voters approve Question 11, the salary lawmakers now receive for serving in Carson City every other year will double to $15,600, from $7,800.
Legislators have backed down virtually every session since 1987 from increasing the $130-per-day pay they now receive during the first 60 days of their 120-day sessions.

The reason I find this interesting is that they have gone 21 YEARS without a raise. Since 1987 ... (er, hrm... 2006 -1987 = 19 years.... Great fact checking Nevada Appeal.. it's called basic Math!!! Fricken Sweet! "Kids like Rocks! So do the editor's of the Nevada Appeal...")Anyway, not my point... My point is that they have gone since 1987 without a raise, and they only make $8000 every 2 years as a legislator. Sounds awefully generous of them, now doesn't it? Or... if we know anything of politicians and/or Nevada, being a state legislator must have some extra little perks besides the puny little salary that goes with the job... hmmm... Now it wouldn't have anything to do with the legal brothel's in the state contributing to their pockets or something seedy like that, would it? Naw... not in Nevada.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/N/NV_SALARY_QUESTION_NVOL-?SITE=NVCAP&SECTION=STATE&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2006-08-20-17-47-55

So, just when you thought I was getting boring and political, we turn to the Sheriff's report. I was about to give up hope here, with not much but the typical slew of DUIs and Meth users arrested that we can count on in good ol' Northern Nevada, things were looking fairly boring.
But wait! Oh yes, we can always count on Virginia City, home of the Ponderosa Ranch from the hit show, you guessed it, Ponderosa..(okay, so not really in Virginia City, its actually in Lake Tahoe, but the show was supposed to be taking place in Virginia City)

A report of a gunfighter with an expired license brandishing his weapon in front of tourists in the 100 block of South C Street in Virginia City at 1:52 p.m. Saturday.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!!! A freaking gunfighter?? Expired License? 2006?? Since when do they license people to be gunfighters?? Even when gunfighting was allowed, I seriously doubt that they issued licenses.. I'm just picturing this old western sort of scene:

The wind blows in the dusty town. All is silent as Billy the Kid exits from the Bucket of Blood Saloon. Standing in the street is One Eye'd Joe, the badest, quickest draw this side of the Colorado river. Billy walks to the middle of the road, hand on his gun, ready to draw... Just then the Sherriff stops everything to make sure that Billy the Kid and One Eye'd Joe both have current GUNFIGHTING licenses... everything checks out, both licenses are current. One Eye'd Joe breathe's a sigh of relief recalling he renewed his gunfighting license just last week, he sure would have been screwed if he'd have let that one go... And as One Eye'd joe was putting his gunfighting license back in his wallet, Billy pulled his gun and shot him in the head... What a dirty move!

The sherrif issuees Billy a citation for unfair gunfighting. He is set to appear in court the following tuesday. Billy recalls this is his second such citation. He worries this will conflict with his gunfight scheduled next Wednesday, as a second citation usually results in a suspended gunfighting license for 30 days.... and the penalties for gunfighting without a license are steep! RATS!!!

One Eye'd Joe, well, he's dead... so, yeah, that kinda sucks....

So there you have it kids! Yet another successful review of the Nevada Appeal. Turn in next week as they write about the ongoing problem of local prostitutes not recieving proper medical and dental benefits...