Oh, Nevada Appeal, how I love thee..

For the inaugural post on Wiggity Wack News, it is only fitting I start with my absolute favorite source for news, the Nevada Appeal. This newspaper consistantly provides the most amazing, wackiest news available. To this day, I can't decide if it is because the reporters at the newspaper are just wack, or if it is due to the inherant wacky nature of the Northern Nevada region. Probably a little of both.

Anywho, without further delay, I present:

The inaugural post of Wiggity Wack News!!!! WOOT! woot! WOOT!

It's time to turn to America's favorite and most informative newspaper, The Nevada Appeal!

First on the roster:

Kids like Rocks!
LOVELOCK, Pershing County - On a hill above the Coeur Rochester open pit, a group of teachers are picking up rocks to bring back to their classrooms. Perhaps these pieces of quartz and rhyolite will lead students to a greater understanding of their geologic environment, or even lucrative careers in mining.Or maybe the rocks will just become projectiles."Kids like rocks," says Kim Kuntz, a kindergarten teacher at Silver Springs Elementary. She believes that educating teachers about geology will open doors for children to learn about a subject that they are already interested in.
http://www.nevadaappeal.com/article/20060817/NEWS/108170088

So, wait a minute? The rocks may become projectiles?? We're talking Kindergarten students. I'm just picturing a room full of kindergarteners throwing rocks at eachother.. That is so freaking sweet!!
Haha... "Kids like Rocks". Basically my favorite quote from the story..

Next up is a tidbit from the Carson City Government.. Always an enlightening bunch...

Carson City supervisors decide against rules limiting public comment:
City supervisors opted Thursday not to adopt rules of conduct for people speaking at their meetings.Exchanges between city officials and two Reno-based activists occasionally became heated over the proposal that would have allowed the mayor or whoever conducts supervisors' meetings to restrict comments that are "irrelevant, repetitious, slanderous, offensive, inflammatory, redundant, irrational or amounting to personal attacks."

Ok, so they are going to restrict comments that are repetitious, slanderous, inflammatory, redundant, or amounting to personal attacks? Repetitious? Redundant? Hrm.. Does that mean that stating the rule may itself not have been allowed if the new rule had gone into effect?
...

Mayor Marv Teixeira said after the meeting that the law already allows him to keep meetings businesslike."I'm simply following (Nevada's) Open Meeting Law," Teixeira said. "I don't need a policy. I can ask them to leave."During the meeting, he said he can already handle disruptive influences."I'll take you on," Teixeira said as he pointed at one of the activists. He then turned and pointed at the other and said, "And I'll take you on."

It sure is nice that the law allows the Mayor to keep things businesslike. Now all he needs is to learn that pointing at people and telling them that he'll "Take them on" is rather unbusiness like. It could also be a bit like a personal attack... oh, and saying the exact same thing to each and every person who he disagree's with, yeah, a bit repetitious...

I now see why this new rule was not put into place. Not allowing the Mayor to speak at meetings could be a bit counterproductive...

Then again, there is also THIS guy....

Sam Dehné, a retired airline pilot who sometimes sings his comments and plays a guitar as accompaniment, jumped up from his seat at one point and said to the mayor, "you made a threat to me."

Okay, so maybe THAT guy should be censored.. Who the hell sings and plays a guitar at city meetings? Oh, yeah, I remember. The residents of Carson City, Nevada. And does anyone find it a bit concerning this guy used to be an Airline Pilot??

http://www.nevadaappeal.com/article/20060818/NEWS/108180084

Next we have a heartwrenching tale of State Legislators who don't make enough money. Basically, this exerpt sums the story up.

Nevada Legislature salary increase:
LAS VEGAS (AP) -- Senate Majority Leader Bill Raggio, R-Reno, finally decided 21 years without a pay increase was long enough. He engineered legislation that placed the doubling of state lawmakers' salaries on the November ballot.
If voters approve Question 11, the salary lawmakers now receive for serving in Carson City every other year will double to $15,600, from $7,800.
Legislators have backed down virtually every session since 1987 from increasing the $130-per-day pay they now receive during the first 60 days of their 120-day sessions.

The reason I find this interesting is that they have gone 21 YEARS without a raise. Since 1987 ... (er, hrm... 2006 -1987 = 19 years.... Great fact checking Nevada Appeal.. it's called basic Math!!! Fricken Sweet! "Kids like Rocks! So do the editor's of the Nevada Appeal...")Anyway, not my point... My point is that they have gone since 1987 without a raise, and they only make $8000 every 2 years as a legislator. Sounds awefully generous of them, now doesn't it? Or... if we know anything of politicians and/or Nevada, being a state legislator must have some extra little perks besides the puny little salary that goes with the job... hmmm... Now it wouldn't have anything to do with the legal brothel's in the state contributing to their pockets or something seedy like that, would it? Naw... not in Nevada.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/N/NV_SALARY_QUESTION_NVOL-?SITE=NVCAP&SECTION=STATE&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2006-08-20-17-47-55

So, just when you thought I was getting boring and political, we turn to the Sheriff's report. I was about to give up hope here, with not much but the typical slew of DUIs and Meth users arrested that we can count on in good ol' Northern Nevada, things were looking fairly boring.
But wait! Oh yes, we can always count on Virginia City, home of the Ponderosa Ranch from the hit show, you guessed it, Ponderosa..(okay, so not really in Virginia City, its actually in Lake Tahoe, but the show was supposed to be taking place in Virginia City)

A report of a gunfighter with an expired license brandishing his weapon in front of tourists in the 100 block of South C Street in Virginia City at 1:52 p.m. Saturday.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!!! A freaking gunfighter?? Expired License? 2006?? Since when do they license people to be gunfighters?? Even when gunfighting was allowed, I seriously doubt that they issued licenses.. I'm just picturing this old western sort of scene:

The wind blows in the dusty town. All is silent as Billy the Kid exits from the Bucket of Blood Saloon. Standing in the street is One Eye'd Joe, the badest, quickest draw this side of the Colorado river. Billy walks to the middle of the road, hand on his gun, ready to draw... Just then the Sherriff stops everything to make sure that Billy the Kid and One Eye'd Joe both have current GUNFIGHTING licenses... everything checks out, both licenses are current. One Eye'd Joe breathe's a sigh of relief recalling he renewed his gunfighting license just last week, he sure would have been screwed if he'd have let that one go... And as One Eye'd joe was putting his gunfighting license back in his wallet, Billy pulled his gun and shot him in the head... What a dirty move!

The sherrif issuees Billy a citation for unfair gunfighting. He is set to appear in court the following tuesday. Billy recalls this is his second such citation. He worries this will conflict with his gunfight scheduled next Wednesday, as a second citation usually results in a suspended gunfighting license for 30 days.... and the penalties for gunfighting without a license are steep! RATS!!!

One Eye'd Joe, well, he's dead... so, yeah, that kinda sucks....

So there you have it kids! Yet another successful review of the Nevada Appeal. Turn in next week as they write about the ongoing problem of local prostitutes not recieving proper medical and dental benefits...